Before the First Note: Ben Esposito in Conversation

Ben talks about his upcoming debut album "Elation"

Making a debut album is a strange, beautiful thing. It’s not just about writing music—it’s about figuring out how to let people into your world for the first time.

Ahead of his album listening show at Cycle Studios on June 28, I sat down with Ben to talk how the record came together, how both he and the music grew overtime, and what it all means now that he’s achieved this milestone.

When did this album really begin for you—not just the recording, but the idea that you were ready to make your first full record?

When I lived in Chicago 2-3 years ago, I worked a lot with the musicians on this record. We played the bassist Dennis Carroll’s compositions often and got close on a personal level. The musicians felt like family, and that made me play the music differently and feel it in a deeper way. Once I realized that we collectively had something special, it was clear that the next step was to document it and show the world what it was about.

What were you carrying with you—musically or emotionally—when you started working on this? What kind of world were you trying to create?

I started putting the idea of an album together around a time when I was dealing with a lot of changes. I had just learned the stories about my biological parents who I didn’t grow up with, and that was shaping how I saw my role in art and as a person. Musically, I was really opening up and finding ways to be more in touch with my emotions behind the drums, learning how to tell a story. Because of the family stuff, my ideas on the album were beyond just the notes - I wanted to create art that could channel loved ones that aren’t around anymore, that I couldn’t reach otherwise.

Were there any fears or hesitations around making a debut album? What did you have to let go of in order to actually start?

I certainly dealt with a lot of imposter syndrome thinking about the fact that what I played would be documented forever. I give all the credit to the other band members on this record for taking me out of my nerves and reminding me that the music we were making was far more important than any personal insecurities, and that it was time to put myself to the side to serve something greater.

Was there a moment in the process where it clicked—where it stopped feeling like pieces and started feeling like a whole?

I said earlier that the musicians on Elation feel like a family, but before the session I wasn’t sure what to expect. A few songs in, I realized that the other musicians were just as passionate about this project as I was - sometimes when you call such world class musicians they may be preoccupied or less interested, especially since it was my own project. But once I felt that support and collective passion, the process really started coming together.

What’s something you learned about yourself while making this album—something you didn’t expect to find out?

I already knew I would get deeply affected by the music- my girlfriend and I joke about how any little thing can make me cry, because I am so easily moved by art. I knew I would get emotional during some of these songs and a lot of us on the record did. But, what I didn’t realize is how different I would feel on a baseline emotional level after this process. It was like there was this force in me building up and waiting to come out. Listening back to it after brought me a deep sense of release, accomplishment, and joy that I didn’t realize would happen.

What track or moment on the record feels the most vulnerable—or the most you?

Next Time. That song deals with themes of losing a loved one, particularly one’s own mother. I haven’t seen my biological mother since I was 9, and I felt like this song could be a channel towards those emotions that have been with me all my life. It talks about seeing someone who has left us in nature or the “morning star”, as the composer Dennis Carroll beautifully put it. He said the song came to him after a dream where he felt the presence of his parents, and I think that speaks to how organic and real that piece is. I also want to mention I See You- none of us were expecting it to turn out that way, and the pianist Joey Skoch and bassist Dennis Carroll play in ways that I’ve never heard anyone play before. I don’t even know what genre to call it because it’s so unique.

What shaped your sound? Are there artists, films, places, or textures that were key to how this record took shape?

I was always inspired by drummers and musicians who could capture a sound that was pure, organic, and natural. That’s where music feels most full of life to me. Many of Dennis’s compositions are inspired by trips in nature, particularly in Wisconsin, and the feelings of freedom that comes with that. The album title was inspired by a poem by Derek Walcott entitled Love After Love, which talks about self care and deeply loving oneself. I also love films- the drum solo track “River” is named after one of my favorite actors ever, River Phoenix. Sometimes taking in art of another medium makes me feel more prepared to play music than practicing itself.

If someone asked you to describe the album without using genre words, how would you explain it?

Walt Whitman beautifully wrote that “I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes”. That’s how I see this album- it’s something different and unexpected. Listening to it takes a certain degree of being present and opening yourself up to being moved. It’s not “easy” music- it’s complex, organic, raw, and full of life. That’s why that quote resonates with me- it’s not about taking in something that’s smooth, comfortable, and shallow. It deals with rough themes, real topics, and I don’t know a single album like it.

What do you think this record says—maybe even to you—now that it's finished?

It’s a really beautiful and honest documentation of a group that feels like family to me, playing songs that each tell their own unique story. There may be things I listen back to that I would have played differently now, a year later, but regardless I feel that the message came across.

What would you say to your past self—the version of you just starting this album—now that it’s finished and about to be heard?

I would just say not to be too worried about making it perfect, because the other musicians on this record are going to come in and play beautifully! I would tell myself that sound begins in your mind, so trust what you’re hearing first and let the music play itself. Someone wise (Jason Rostkowski) once told me that our projects will be around long after us, and I’m overjoyed that Elation is that project for me.

Be sure to come by Cycle Studios on June 28, 2025 for your first chance to listen to Elation from Ben Esposito.